After a stilted night of sleep that was somewhat more consistent than the rest of the week, I awoke and checked emails, somewhat depressed about having to get up and deal with the malaise. I checked my email – the publisher had gotten back to me in Australia to address some points the peer reviewers made. I got up, slowly got dressed, meditated for 15 minutes before David rang and I left the house.
I had to get in for 9am for a meeting with marketing, then promptly found out marketing had to cancel when I was walking over the bridge to UEL, making my early jaunt pointless. Then my mind suddenly flashed back. Hang on... The publisher emailed me to say they wanted minor revisions to my proposal. HANG ON - that means my book might actually be published! This is a big deal. This... Is a big deal.
By the time I got to UEL I was in a good mood and the media 11 sent their proposal to the whole cluster at around 9.20... It was ominous, but I decided to take the wind out of their sails:
"Thank you so much for your ideas. It's a shame we didn't manage speak earlier in the process as there are some very clear themes here – we just need to figure out how it fits in the existing rationale and how we then might deliver the validation document to a timely schedule.
Thank you also for your feedback and the adjustments you have made to my proposed module specs."
Collaborative, collegial and took the bite right out of their fight. It also put me straight back in the driving seat and established my credibility. I was buzzing with pride at myself and how I had managed to rise above the dross. My approach also brings everyone in the cluster back together.
I gave a lecture on pitching to about 5 (!) students and felt good about what I had done. I finished way too early – after about 40 minutes – and so I made sure the students had settled into their workshop and then went back to my office to reply to emails. I also went through the process of applying for my company name again and filling in the documentation. At the end I checked back in on them but they really are at a place where they can be working independently.
After lunch I taught the magazine journalism students who seem on track with their projects also. There was some tension between the editors Paige and Debbie and the art editor George, so to diffuse the tension I took George to the Print Centre to look at paper samples and get him focused on printing the magazine. We arrived back half an hour later with some pages to show the girls and everyone seemed appeased. I then sat in the journalism newsroom while they all worked, and I replied to the publisher's comments before asking them what they wanted to do for the launch event and how they would continue.
I arranged to see David after work for drinks and I managed to pop home quickly before getting the train to Charing Cross. I met David at the station and we went to the Retro Bar. I bumped into Paul, who I hadn't seen in ages, and I told him about the potential new book. He seemed a little jealous, which wasn't my intention. After two beers, David suggested going to see David Hoyle at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, which I agreed to, and we said we would go to Dirty Burger beforehand. But when we got to the restaurant I started thinking about death and dying again. My heart sank. What a sad world we live in.
I told David what I was thinking and he said, "What if there's a winderful afterlife?"
"What if there's not?" I replied.
I decided to stop drinking when we got to the RVT. I had a Coke Zero and allowed myself to lose myself in the music and jigged around. I then decided to have a red wine, which actually relaxed me a bit, so I stuck to that for the rest of the evening. David was sensational as per usual. He was accompanied by Ebony Rose Dark and Tracy Barlow:
I bumped into a couple of people I know like Steven Warren and Matthew 'Joy' Jones. I ended up having about 3 or 4 glasses of wine, but I relaxed into it by the end of the night. I stopped Tracy Barlow and drunkenly slurred about how fabulous she was. I also spoke to another drag queen ho was a Marlene Dietrich impersonator and tried to get her to make me over.
I decided to get a cab home because I was too drunk and lazy to do otherwise. When I got home I switched on the TV to ITV2 to watch American Dad...
...and I must have fallen asleep because I remember waking up at 4am fully clothed. I then took my clothes off and wrapped myself up in my duvet, woke up again around 8am. I tried to get up, remembered I didn't really have to and went back to sleep for an hour.
Feeling muggy, I took a variety of pain pills and PrEP and went to get coffee, croissant and Skyr yoghurt. After settling in with all 3, I watched the newest episode of RuPaul's Drag Race (loving this season!) and then I decided to write a 3 month plan of threes, to be completed by June 22, 2019. The list reads:
Go on 3 dates
Make 3 new social media videos
Make 3 new photos
Go to 3 networking events
Find 3 performance workshops
See 3 performances
Go to 3 night clubs and dance wildly
Go to 3 club nights
Visit 3 countries (this is a cheat because I am visiting Spain, Belgium and Kazakhstan and I knew that)
Plan 3 more
Write 3000 words for my book
I spoke to Julia on the phone for an hour before leaving the house to go to UEL. She thinks the equinox and the super moon has refreshed the balance. The only purpose of going in today was to meet with two representatives from 'the media 11' to see if we could broker a compromise.
I got a piri piri chicken wrap, which I felt greedy and fat for eating (putting on weight again after losing loads when stressed and anxious). Then I saw Helena from QA and stomped around the campus. Luckily I bumped into Paul Gormley in the cafe queue and we had a brief chat, which kind of made the meeting at 2 less hard.
When Paul and Johannes came to my office, it was an amicable and positive conversation and I kept it upbeat and light. very positive about all of their ideas and comments and I decided to waive as much through as possible. There is a long game here and to temporarily appease the detractors will encourage harmony.
We agreed on a model and I sent it round to everyone, again sounding really positive about it. I have almost single handedly managed to restore the balance here and I went home at 4pm feeling really positive about myself and the work I had done, and now Kazakhstan was before me. I could do the document and let this play out, and finally get my head out of the woods.
I thought about dyeing my hair platinum blonde and redesigning myself. I needed to change and refresh and I want to have one cracking summer where I celebrate myself and my life. The effects of the wine from last night has me feeling heavy though, and so I just relaxed on the sofa when I got home, watched RuPaul's Untucked and went between napping and washing clothes. It's currently 8.30pm and I still haven't packed for Kazakhstan. I'm letting a wash dry before I stuff some things in a suitcase.
So yeah... I'm off to Kazakhstan tomorrow, which should be a strange and gnarly adventure. How many times in your life can you do that?
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