Minimising my life

Yesterday, I thought, was a legitimate day off. As I was watching a documentary on Andy Warhol (narrated by Laurie Anderson), I took some perverse pleasure and parallels into his transition from shy and insecure ingenue into the cold and aloof artist. It was a conscious choice for Warhol to change and so, as I looked around my apartment from the huddle of my duvet, I also had to think that I had the same opportunity to change.

My whole life I've been chronically disorganised and I guess it's because I didn't live in my own reality. I accepted that things would get better, or I hoped they would. I just was blind to my whole self care and clothes. I used to go months without doing laundry (seriously - I know it's gross, but really) and it would sometimes take me months to clean.

I have recently tried to keep on top of my flat, but I know that there are bits and bobs everywhere and the closests and cupboards are full to bursting.

Tonight I will have off, I thought to myself. Tomorrow, I will start to declutter my life. I don't feel manic or mania brought on by the meds, more focused and I suppose that is a good thing. 

I woke up around 10.30am and I decided to take it slow, go for a coffee. So I wondered to the Coffee Lounge and bought an Americano and a banana. I then watched a video about 'focus' and how important it is in life, and in the video he described how focus is so important because if you just say yes to other people's demands your whole life, you will wake up one day and think, 'What have I done?"

Exactly.

And so, I managed to go for a 6k run, a kettlebell exercise and do 20 mins of meditation (to varying degrees of success) and surely, I started to declutter around 1.30pm. At first I went through all of my CDs and tech, which have been gathering dust in my closet and various other places in my flat and I scanned them all into the Music Magpie app so I can package them into a box and send them away. All the CDs I couldn't sell to Music Magpie I bagged up to be taken away. I kept a small box of Mansun CDs (my favourite band when I was 15) as memorabilia and the rest is going. 

I went through all my kitchen cupboards and cleared them out: plastic bags, unwanted gifts, odd coathangers, pictures, whatever... All thrown away. 

I went to Wilkos and bought two big document binders and I cleared my drawers, separating out important bills from personal documents or birthday cards I wanted to keep. The rest – bin.

I kept going until around 9pm, which finished with washing the dishes.

My mantra? I must raise my own standards.

I must bring joy to my own life.

I am responsible for my happiness.

My plan is now to slim down my wardrobe to just white shirts, blazers and jeans – remove the complications and choices from everyday life. Keep it simple and stylish.

I am also going to throw away all my pants and socks and buy brand new luxurious underwear.

I will also call a junk haulers to come and pick up all the stuff so I have no excuse as to why it is still in my cupboard.

I will then move my photography equipment and nostalgia into the closet.

This will pare everything right back and provide a clean slate, as well as making me more mobile and responsive to change.