The Friday turned out to be a very productive day. I toured the Plaza De Mayor, went to the Palace of Madrid and strolled through Retiro Park. Inside there was a crystal palace with an exhibition of sculptures. Recently I've been trying to take pictures of people looking at art, so I tried to get snaps of people interacting with sculptures. One thing I've noticed is that the Spaniards are very serious about not touching or photographing art!
I had menu of the day at another cafe, which ended up being a delicious carrot soup with goat's cheese followed by steak and two pints of beer. I read more of East of Eden before going back to the hotel and having a sleep.
I ventured out for a 'pre-drink' cocktail and had a gin martini at this antiques shop turned cocktail bar then went to a bar crawl hosted by a guy named Paul. There I met two Chinese people 'Ee' and 'One-tee', an american couple called Arthur and Sam, and a girl from Uruguay called Virginia. We went to a cocktail bar and I felt like I was leading the conversation, where Paul tried to talk about history. The same was true of when he took us to the oldest bar in the area and we had vermouth and soda. The most exciting thing we did was go to a drag bar where we saw some spanish drag. I had no idea what they were saying and I hid at the back. THEN we went to a bar called Why Not? They played disco and 80s, and of course I couldn't help but throw myself into some dane moves, which then started Arthur, which then started everyone else. It was so much fun.
When they left, everyone hung around so I just invited everyone back. I ordered pizza but surprisingly it never came. Then everyone left around 3am, but the pizza arrived. I woofed down a few slices before going to sleep.
On Saturday I decided not to do anything but roam around Malasañas looking at clothes and going to bars. I popped in and out of my house before deciding to have a sandwich at a local bar and doing a self-help exercise of writing down my limiting subconscious beliefs and overturning them with a 'new story'
I decided to stay in on Saturday evening and drank a bottle of wine, spoke to my mum on the phone and bitched about my sister's boyfriend before ordering sushi and going to sleep.
I had a plane to catch at 8.50am the next day, so I woke up at 6.30, packed my stuff and left. I was releived to be going back so early, but the night before when I was deep in thought about cosmology and the nature of the universe, my friend Andy texted me and said he was homeless. AGAIN. So I told him to come stay at my place.
When I touched down at 10.10am, he said he would come round that afternoon. So I hurried home to Woolwich and – literally – painted my nails. As soon as I did it, I found like I had discovered 'the missing element'. I've never been good at painting my own nails but as soon as I saw them silvery-white I thought... This kind of fits. I waited around for Andy but he didn't arrive until around 5.45pm (after telling me he would leave at 2.50pm). We went for a drink at the Equitable and shared stories. I got upset about my life. Sometimes when verbalise things out loud, I realise just how messed up my head is at the moment.
We drank a lot, came home, watched Dragula and ate a spaghetti bolognese I made. Then I drank another bottle of red wine to delay the inevitability of work tomorrow. I think I talked a load of crap to Andy - I can't really remember what I said now.
Waking up this morning, I felt a little bit sad and expected a lot of drama in my inbox. However, when I finally got down to it, I missed a meeting - which i don't feel sorry about - and it was the usual student gripes with work. The journalism students were the worst. Nonetheless I consulted my colleague Andrew Calcutt and we discussed the best course of action. I decided to spend time with the students in the late afternoon going through the mag page by page.
At 2.30pm there was a departmental meeting, which was a ginormous letdown. The head of school was supposed to be reprimanding people for their behaviour towards me but instead ended up being about course development. It was a bit of a wet blanket and the whole episode has just made me realise no one has my back at UEL. I work with some very nasty people and now I have decided for my own sanity to put myself first. I'm not risking my mental health for them again.
From 4.30pm onwards I spent time with my students and I quite enjoyed rewriting all the heads and sells with them. And I thought... I can quite happily go back to doing this. Screw them. Screw management. Screw the work. Me. I matter.
Yes to life. I say yes to life. For one year, I am going to welcome life and live it. This weekend I'm going to the salon underneath my house and asking them to paint my nails silver. That's what I'm focusing on.
I went for a 6k run and Andy made some tortellini for dinner. I still feel a little hungry but I decided to go next door to my bedroom and quickly finish this blog before bedtime.
We may be spinning on a globe in the middle fo nowhere, but I now say come on universe – show me what you've got.
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