Over the past few weeks, I've intentionally not been blogging to see what it was like to lose some time, but still... Since the 8th of March the momentum of time seems to have slowed down somewhat. Student formal presentations started in the week commencing the 8th April with Employment and Enterprise, Pitching for Business and Campaign Design and Execution all pitching. I am just glad they got through it to be honest. Julia and I went for a drink on the 11th April accompanied only by Ben, and it wasn't the monumental 'end of year' celebration we were both hoping for. I was pretty much finished by 7.30pm. I did some initial research for my Miss Vanjie chapter that Friday and met up with David - his last day of work before starting Keystone Capital. Then David and I had a drink with Jilly at the Retro bar that Friday. I told Jill all about Kazakhstan and her friend from Belarus, Kate, was super-impressed feeling some former USSR vibes. Jill told me Dan and Courtney were separating, which is just awful. I texted Dan and he is really cut up.
I thought the next week would be super simple as teaching has officially finished and we were supposed to be on Easter break, but the journalism students were hassling me about their event for the launch of their magazine. I think I was super-harsh on them. Told them this needed to be an industry event - not a jolly on the university spend. I might have gone overboard.
Of course, the validation document took prime importance and I had to finish it by the 18th of April so that I could have a peaceful and restful holiday from 19-29 April. During the week, I started to ease off a bit as I thought I had it pretty much in hand and did the bare minimum amount of work. The biggest bit was herding everyone else into writing their module specs and sending individual bits of External Advisor feedback to the relevant person.
I also went to see Hassan, the dean, about the bullying in the department which he told me I was 'taking personally'. I was very taken aback at this and it made me realise that management do not really have my back at all. Ergo, the structure at UEL is somewhat fucked and I've pushed myself forward only to make myself vulnerable. It did somewhat put into perspective what my position is.
On the 17th April, I gave some proofing feedback on the magazine journalism students' proof and Paige and Debbie came to my office shouting at me for an hour. I literally sat there and listened with a smirk on my face. I know they are under a lot of pressure, but I had already stayed late (till 7pm) and now two students were making me stay later (till 8)to listen to them. I then decided to take them for a couple of drinks at the bar. They talked about True Blood and their sexual preferences (!), but I went home at 9pm. Felt bad for gossiping with them about departmental politics, but also they are level 6 and will finish soon.
I asked Suzanne if I could have a day off on the 18th April to do research in the British Library, so I finished the validation document first thing in the morning, then went off to the library. I found a really interesting thread about horror, Slender Man and transmedia storytelling. In my Miss Vanjie chapter, I liken her to a horror character. But instead of being an unwelcoming presence, she is a a presence that people call on. After my research I popped by to see Dan. He cried about Courtney wanting to separate and we had a couple of beers, chatted about it. It basically sounds like Dan wants to stay but Courtney s hell bent on leaving so she won't know how she feels until she goes. I ordered a nice curry on Thursday to round off the holiday.
Friday I dedicated JUST to writing the book chapter. Originally I wanted to get to 4000 words, but I ended up pushing 5000+ and deciding to wrap up the chapter and formatting it. Then I found out my Brazilian friend Alan Santos was over from Brazil with his boyfriend. We used to work together at a text chat channel called Gay Network over 14 years ago. I went to The Glory to meet him and I had a great time, but I felt sad because I tried to remember all the days/weeks/ nights we spent together when we were in our early 20s. Anyway, we had an awesome night voguing and I remembered why I loved him so much. I wish I could have spent more time with him.
Sometimes the reason I feel so sad when I can't remember things is because if consciousness were truly separate from brain, we would be able to recall everything. But we can't.
I took a cab home, even though I couldn't afford it, and went to sleep.
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